…. is not being afraid to fail”

Let’s be honest – I’m horrified to fail but let me tell you a funny story that is the start of taking that first scary step…

So I graduated almost two years ago with a degree in music business and I applied for numerous jobs and had great contacts but nothing came through, so I worked at Starbucks for a while and then I found an office job in Boulder.  It was safe and easy and after being turned down so many times I was happy with that.  Then my boyfriend started a jazz band and asked if I would help him with putting together and getting out his album – obviously I said yes and definitely helped him and his band but I still felt like I wasn’t doing anything creative or ‘outside the box.’  I just recently spent about three months trying to get a job at a local music company that had just opened up their own theater and I thought I was so going to get the job – I put a lot of effort into it and felt like I really gave it my all to get this job – low and behold though “they didn’t have a position for me.”

I started feeling like maybe the universe was telling me that music just wasn’t my thing until I had a heart to heart with my boyfriend about the situation.  Basically he said I am so afraid to fail doing something on my own that I try to hide behind the cover of an organization and being someones “assistant” to feel like I’m doing something.  He gave me several ideas on things I should try and basically told me to not give up on music just yet.  A few more weeks went by and I didn’t really do anything on the subject and the stupidest thing started pulling me out of my rut.
I went to get some info on a workout called Pure Barre and afterwards decided to buy some new workout clothes to motivate me to start working out again and while I’m trying on all these workout clothes I have this thought “I wish I could wear workout clothes ALL the time.”  We all have our own ways of getting motivated and it turns out that was mine – I want to be able to make money and wear workout clothes while I’m doing that so I have to give this band manager thing an actual shot.
I am sitting at The Laughing Goat right now while the band I work for plays and while I sit around and watch the audience I realize that people actually like this music – people of all ages and personalities!  How silly to say, I know, because I LOVE the music, but I also love one of the band members so that is kind of a given.  People actually come to this place on this specific Tuesday to watch them play.  It gives me an extra boost of motivation to start going all in.

I have started writing down goals for the band (which I will share once they are complete) as well as myself and I have to just keep reminding myself that it is way better to try and fail at something then to be too afraid to try in the first place.  This goes with anything, but specifically for me this goes with creativity.  I am surrounded by so many wonderful creative people who are here to support me and I want to start being a part of the community not just apart from the community.

I am beginning to ponder upon how sad it is how many people go their whole lives not doing what they want to do because they are afraid – I refuse to be one of those people.  Let the journey begin:)

P.S. On such a side note, one thing I have gotten over failing at is cooking and my boyfriend and I have been having so much fun cooking and trying new recipes together – if you like chicken and potatoes, you MUST try this recipe from the Martha Stewart website:Spinach Salad with Chicken and Crispy Potatoes