Decaf Chats

Hello there! I started this post a few days ago, and now I’m back at a coffee shop to finish it up! We’re so spoiled in Colorado that one day it might be freezing and windy, and the next day it’s sunny and in the 50s. I’m soaking up all the sun I can while it’s here! Anyways, onto our decaf/coffee/tea/matcha chats for the week!

I’m trying to be intentional about doing a few things a week that bring me joy. That feels a little harder to do this year and I’ve even forgotten what some of those things are that bring me joy. I’m hopeful I can keep digging in, exploring and getting out to remember the little things that bring joy and happiness. What are some things you do for yourself during the week that bring you joy?

When I’m in a bit of a funk with life or work I tend to watch trash tv. Do you ever watch trash TV? I started watching Emily in Paris and wow, is it trash TV. It’s terrible and somehow I’m still watching it. It’s what I put on when I want some background noise but don’t want to have to focus on a plot line. Just as I was trying to figure out how to describe the show they did it perfectly for me. There is a scene where Emily’s French coworkers are talking about the difference between American romantic comedies vs French movies. The coworkers were saying that American romantic comedies are so dishonest with happy endings, and French endings are more tragic, more real life. That scene sums up the show perfectly. There is no real life in this show. Shows like this are what cause little girls and boys to think that life will give them what they want without having to work hard for it and learning how to deal with the downs with the ups. Thinking that the right people will show up exactly when you need them to. I know we all want an escape from reality, but this is a little too much. We need to teach our youth (and remind ourselves!) that there will be the ups with the downs, that life can be beautiful but it can also be hard. That it’s important to learn from the downs and celebrate the highs. Does anyone else agree with this or do you think it’s a little too pessimistic of a view?

I want to see some semblance of real life in what I watch and read. It doesn’t have to be as extreme as This Is Us but there should be something that feels relatable. “Thinking you can escape life is your problem, you can never escape life.” I don’t want to look at life in a ‘glass half empty’ fashion, but I do struggle with finding a balance between reality and optimism. I saw an IG post by @georgiemorley about reframing her usual “what if everything goes wrong” question to “what if everything goes right.?” I love this – one simple word change and your whole outlook is more optimistic. I tend to think about ‘worst case scenarios’ not only to be prepared for disappointment, but I also realized recently that I don’t know what I would want life to look like if everything did go right. Some people are more set on the direction they want their life to head in, they know what they’re working towards and how they want their personal life to look like.

I’ve become such a follower in my personal life because that feels easier than digging in and asking myself what I want to do. It feels easier to do what others want to ensure they’re happy instead of risking doing what I want and making others unhappy or uncomfortable. I don’t exactly know how to remedy this when it has been so ingrained in me. I think I could learn some from my ‘work self’ who is less afraid to speak up, and less afraid to ask questions that might be hard to answer.

I think most of us seek mentors not only for our work lives but our personal lives. We want someone to help guide us towards a path that feels right for us. It seems hard to be advocates for ourselves so we seek guidance and recognition from others. And then when we come across those few ‘confident’ individuals who stick up for themselves and praise themselves we think they’re being stuck up and cocky. Shouldn’t we celebrate those individuals who are brave enough to stand up for themselves? Who have done the inner work to learn how to give themselves praise and respect?

I think we all need to find our ‘tribes.’ Find our group of people who support us, push us, bring out the best version of ourselves, and remind us we’re worthy and enough. Who remind us that we can stand up for ourselves, push ourselves, and support others. I also think this tribe will come and go as our lives evolve and grow. We shouldn’t be afraid of finding a new tribe who will be more in line with where we’re at in our life. Some friends/mentors/partners come and go throughout the different seasons of our lives and that’s okay.

I think that’s partly why I love coffee shops. People don’t come to coffee shops to show off, outshine others, or be someone they’re not. They come to settle in, meet up with a close friend, a new colleague, a potential business partner. People come to coffee shops to be creative, open, share their lives with others. It’s an environment where you can be yourself, come up with new ideas, and get excited about what’s next. We all need something in our life that represents that, right?

Anyways, a few jumbled thoughts from the week. I’m off to enjoy the sunshine even more and head out with my pup. I hope everyone is doing well this week, taking care of themselves, and finding joy in the little moments.

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