“… the way you really feel, but that same humanity is my achilles heel.” – I Remember: The Roots
Yes – we do have this quote spray painted on canvas in our living room. I come back to this quote more times than not when I’m a little frustrated with life. I think so many of us have gotten away from actually expressing the way we feel in order to not alienate ourselves or to help protect someone else – but is that worth it? I am tempted to say no.
When I made a decision in my life to stand up for myself incredible things started happening. I found true passions that I had never felt before, I found the beauty in my wonderfully fulfilling relationship, I became me… I did start expressing how I felt and who I was and I did feel the ‘achilles heel’ part because most people in my life weren’t ready for it. I have weakened some relationships because of it, and I have grown distant from several friends – but I have found an honest happiness that I didn’t know I was missing.
I think so many of us walk around doing what we think is right, or what we think someone else thinks is right, or making sure what we do will make someone else happy that we have gotten so far removed from our own personal happiness. I think a lot of us think we are happy – but is it real, honest, sometimes painful, happiness?
I turned 25 a month ago and I am not anywhere close to where I thought I would be at this age – I guess I didn’t have a real vision of where I thought I would be, but if you asked anyone who knew me 1, 2 or 10 years ago it definitely wouldn’t be here. I live in a basement with 6 other roommates, I have a mediocre part time job, and a guinea pig; I also have an undescribably amazing boyfriend that I wake up happy to every morning, I found passion in a lifestyle, I found gusto to start a new business – I found me.
You don’t always have to take the path that others have laid down for you – it’s OK to go off the grid and find you. It’s not easy – in fact it is the hardest thing I have done in my life, and it is a battle that I fight everyday – but a battle that I am proud of and will never give up on.
Here’s to being you